Anniversary

Many of us who have lost a beloved parent dread the anniversary of their death. For me, one year will be August 16th. But I honestly dread other days just as much, or at least periods of time. From October of '18 until her death at just 64, it was a roller coaster of fear, frustration, anxiety and confusion. Mom was misdiagnosed by the useless doctors and hospitals she kept going to, trying to get help; they obsessed over blood clots in her lungs while completely ignoring that she had a fatty liver that soon became cirrhosis. Because she was sick, Mom lost her home, all her money, and her job. And because of depression, she started drinking, unbeknownst to me, which just completely destroyed her already-damaged liver. We had no idea what was causing her getting worse and worse since the doctors said it was just the blood clots. Each week that I get closer to August 16th, the more angry and devastated I feel. Each week is a one-year anniversary of countless hospital visits, doctor's appointments (that often would be casually cancelled by them), good days and bad days, which, by June, became nothing but bad days. Days that it seemed Mom was recovering in a makeshift bedroom that I made for her in the corner of my living room (and it's still there, almost untouched). But she kept secretly drinking, which finally drove her liver over the edge, practically overnight. Whilst cleaning out her car months after her tragic and preventable death, I came across this receipt on the floor, dated exactly one year ago today.

 A bottle of rum, spent with some of the last remaining money she had until Social Security kicked in. I had put her in a nice hotel for a few days so she could relax, and before she checked in, she bought more liquor. If I had known what was really making her ill, I would have put a stop to her drinking immediately, and focused on liver detox, and my beloved mother, my absolute best friend and soulmate, would still be alive today. Even by this point a year ago, I might have been able to save her life. The next bad anniversary will be less than two months from now, when Mom became jaundiced and I found a huge, half-empty bottle of vodka. By then, it was too late. My world ended two months later.

So, Where Have You Been?

Hello, everyone. I'm still around. I appreciate all who read my blogs and encourage you all to read more of them if you haven't already. But I haven't written anything for two whole years now. Here's why:

My beloved mother and best friend died on August 16th, 2019, at just 64 years old. She was my absolute everything, my soulmate, in a way. When you're short, fat and bald and 39 years old, you know full well that nothing you do will ever get females your age or younger to ever want you, so you simply don't try. My mom was the only female who ever loved me, ever cared for my heart and feelings. Words can't describe the utter pain and grief I have endured with her devastating loss, as well as the several months leading up to her untimely and possibly preventable illness and death. Although she was apparently getting sick possibly as early as late 2017, it wasn't fully noticable for another year. She lived right next door to me for over ten years, so I saw her every single day of my life. My father lives 45 minutes from me and has been useless for most of my adult life, so my mom was my absolute everything. Now I just work 40 hours a week (I'm considered essential personnel, so COVID19 has no effect on my work), then I just sit home alone and grieve. I have little motivation anymore to do anything but go to work and then be lazy around my house when I'm not working.

I'm going to start using this blog to publish my feelings, my utter despair and heartbreak, and maybe it can help others while providing a desperately needed outlet for my crippling sadness I now have. Hopefully it will help me and you. Getting motivated to even post this update took a lot, but I'm hoping later this year, I'll start posting my blogs, all dealing with loss and death of a loved one. Thanks for reading. 

Rachel Held Evans, Episcopalians, and Millennials. Oh, my! (UPDATED)

***UPDATE as of 5-13-19! Rachel Held Evans has just died at the age of 37, possibly of encephalitis. Shortly before her very untimely death, she was surrounded on her death bed by vulgar, blasphemous lesbians, feminists and other heretics. What a way to go. One less Democrat voting in the 2020 election, at least***

Gentlemen, this is not going to be your typical blog post found here on my incredible and awe-inspiring Blogspot. In my very first post, Blog Cherry Popping!, I mentioned that I would write some about religion. Well, here is such an entry! It does, however, involve a young woman and bad things she is doing, so it can sort of tie in to some of my previous posts. But if you’re not interested in a blog about Christianity, I understand. Here are a few posts that haven’t gotten as much attention as others, so please check them out:

http://faceupfacethefront.blogspot.com/2014/12/willy-wonka-takes-on-single-mothers.html

http://faceupfacethefront.blogspot.com/2014/12/willy-wonka-takes-on-single-mothers_27.html

http://faceupfacethefront.blogspot.com/2015/01/far-far-away-from-american-women-thats_16.html

OK, for those that stayed, let me explain something. I was raised in a conservative Christian home, Baptist, to be exact. When I became an adult, I left the insanely rigid Fundamental Baptist (ugh) route and became a Southern Baptist (yay!), which is quite a bit more moderate, believe it or not. I was a devout Southern Baptist for several years and technically, I still am a member of the Southern Baptist Convention, despite not going for years. I had a catastrophic falling-out with some people at my local SBC church, and I haven’t entered it since, obviously, but I also haven’t tried any other churches since they all suck here in the White Trash Mecca; useless, useless, cliquish, old people’s and families-only churches here. Since I have higher education, I of course do not believe some tenants of Evangelical Christianity and could almost be considered as having no religious affiliation, which is all well and good. I nevertheless defend and endorse Protestant Evangelicals and Christian Conservatives and stand up for them, as they are under constant and vicious attacks daily now by the liberals simply because Christians believe and stand for something that liberals do not.

That brings me to Rachel Held Evans, an American woman a year and one month younger than I who is basically become a voice for pseudo-Christian Millennials. She is mildly attractive, except for having a really big and wide nose, which is quite off-putting; I’d still do her. She was raised a Christian Conservative here in the South and for years, wrote books and essays about her experiences in the church, usually quite positive. Her blog site has become increasingly popular and she is in constant demand for internet and TV interviews.

Well, in recent years, particularly since 2012, Evans has become increasingly negative and abrasive toward real Christianity, and now uses her Twitter account to almost weekly bash the church and ridicule it with passive-aggression and sarcasm, the latter being the main attribute of liberalism when it comes to arguments. Like all young women, she is now a blatant liberal and possible feminist; amazingly, she is not single, as all single women are like that and most married women are not; Evans has been hitched since immediately after college, unfortunately typical of Christian women. Three years ago, Mrs. Evans published a diatribe for CNN against Evangelical Christians called “Why Millennials are Leaving the Church.” Basically, she said that churches need to kowtow to the fleeting wants and personal desires of the Generation-Y bunch so they will either come to church or stay there. Here is a fine rebuttal of her drivel: http://www.thegospelcoalition.org/blogs/trevinwax/2013/08/01/why-millennials-are-leaving-the-church-a-response-to-rachel-held-evans/?comments

Now here in 2015, Rachel Held Evans decided she couldn’t take any more of those pesky Evangelicals who just aren’t cool enough for her liking and has now started going to an Episcopal Church in Cleveland, Tennessee. Yep, good ol’ Mainline Protestant, the segment of Christianity that is dying the fastest. The Episcopal Church is as far to the left as you can go and still call yourself a Christian. Episcopalians have no faith system, no core beliefs, no values, no Godly convictions. They have become extremely over-the-top welcoming and downright obsessed with the LGBT movement and many of their ministers are flaming gay guys or feminist lesbians with openly anti-Biblical, left-wing agendas, including the woman at the local Episcopal Church in Okahumpka (south of Leesburg). The amount of foolishness that is spewed from the pulpits of all Episcopal churches every Sunday is alarming and nauseating. The Bible is NEVER preached, but plenty of Social Justice Warriors get behind the pulpit and teach about global warming/climate change, white guilt, and giving people endless welfare and having as many flamboyant gay weddings as possible. Some of this nation’s most corrupt and anti-American presidents, senators and congressmen have called themselves “Episcopalian” just to say they were Christian. Simply a dreadful religious denomination.

Liberal, godless, anything goes, feminist, gay-coddling, ever-shrinking Episcopalians. And Rachel Held Evans has immersed herself in it and says that if Christian churches know what’s best for them, they better act in the same manner and perhaps they won’t die off as quickly as she thinks they are. Evans says she likes her new-found denomination because of the “liturgy,” which is a nice way of saying “lots of Catholic-esque chants and rituals that are to be found NOWHERE in the Bible.” Of course, her sect doesn’t read or even believe anything about the Bible, so I guess that’s a moot point. Evans also states this:
>

Uh, huh. So in order to get the young people to think that Christianity is hip and cool, they need to become just like the Episcopalians? You mean the soulless, cold, spiritless Mainline Protestant denomination that has no young people? The one that has lost the majority of its members in just the last 20 years? The one that has been predicted to become extinct within 30 years? That one?? ORLY? Here’s what one anti-Christian bitch named Haley (hot girl’s name) had to say about Godly churches and why she and her ilk refuse to set foot in them:
>

Yeah, maybe it’s because your “ideas” suck, honey? Reality, much?

Men, I AM a Millennial! I was born on July 2nd, 1980. Most sociologists say that Generation-Y began in ’80, with some of them saying that it started in the middle of the year. That would make me one of the very, very first of this generation! And I DON’T GIVE A RAT’S ASS WHAT THE MILLENNIALS THINK ABOUT THE CHURCH! The most anti-God, immoral, selfish, arrogant, narcissistic, liberal generation this nation has ever seen, and the church is supposed to kiss their condescending asses and throw away 2,000 years of convictions, morals, values and faith just to get some 23-year-old pothead hipsters in the pews? Seriously? All we need to do is have drag shows on Sunday? Some gay weddings with feather boas and ass-less leather chaps? Climate change seminars with all these atheist scientists as the guest speakers? Visible arm and neck tattoo expos? Obscene, profanity-riddled, blasphemous comedy shows? Sermons (with live demonstrations) on what lube works best for gay anal sex? I don’t know about that, but Astroglide works great on anal with girls; just throwing that out there. Here’s an excellent comment from a man named Ken about Evans and her decrees that Evangelicals need to become hip, cool liberals:

Rachel Held Evans has become the darling of the liberal media as CNN, the Huffington Post, Buzzfeed, Salon, and similar vile sewer sites who interview her, loving how she has rejected Evangelical Christianity in favor of feel-good leftie pseudo-Christianity. Mrs. Evans is hip and cool to the (((mainstream media))), she’s liked because she belittles the faith that everybody in the MSM despises and ridicules with rabid fervor. Evans has spent the past few years trying to gain acceptance—and money—from the media and the Millennials, and it looks like she has now accomplished just that. I guess Evans has never read the words of Jesus Christ in Mark 8:36 and 37. Guys, steer clear of that confused apostate, Rachel Held Evans! She is anathema to any real Christian and/or conservative.